Transportation Madness

After returning from the pure bliss that is Swiss transportation efficiency, we discovered first hand that Easy Jet is barely marginally better than Ryan Air.
Look at this boarding mob:

easyjet.jpg

Stupid! More stupid was First Capital Connects train from Luton Airport to Kings Cross that was over an hour late. Sitting at the platform they updated us on their tardiness every 3 minutes by simply stating that the train we are waiting for will be 6 minutes, not 9 minutes, no 12 minutes… etc.. .delayed. And of course they appologize for any inconvenience they may have caused. Seriously?! The train is only coming from Bedford, 15 minutes away. And it’s after midnight. Either you know where the train is or you don’t! Just tell us you have no bloody clue and get it over with!

But Switzerland was awesome, so it’s almost worth it.

Silly Tube Names

When I first got here looking at the Tube map provided me with endless amusement. I was certain that half the names were based on dares. Aside from the obvious ones that clearly raise eyebrows (Cockfosters, St. Johns Wood and Shepards Bush) there were other ones that made me giggle like: Burnt Oak, Tooting Bec, Gallons Reach, and Hornchruch (which when the Brits say it sounds too much like whore in church…). I used to sit on the tube and wonder things like exactly who are the Seven Sisters?! And what would i find at the station called Mudchute?! (these were the days before I discovered free newspapers and their trashy gossip columns).

But today… I was looking at the tube map at Gloucester Station (pronounced Gloss-ter because that doesn’t make any sense, so obviously it should be pronounced that way) and I noticed that the names don’t even phase me. It’s kind of sad actually. I’m shifting out of my tourist mind frame.

Cricket

My life unfortunetely has been all about work, and studying for an upcoming exam. So unfortunetly i have limited stories to share. On the weekend I did manage to do at least one interesting thing. I went down to Putney to meet my friend Kaila to watch her boyfriend play some cricket. Amazingly, after 7 days of rain Sunday was glorious and sunny. It made cricket watching very pleasant:

cricket.jpg

What was surprising though, was given their prim and proper appearance, Cricket involves a lot of equipment adjusting. I think when they guys get ready to bat, bat, and finish batting, they spend more time sticking random padding and sorts down their trousers, adjusting and then removing said padding than they actually hit the damn ball!
But we did get flashed quite a few times!

Speaking of flashing. I joined a gym last week near my work that has a pool. I went Monday morning for a swim and flashed my whole lane and apparently my neighboring lane too, since it was a girl in the lane beside me who pointed out my dropping bathing suit. nice.
When i finished up a little while later, the life guards were quite smiley with me.
On the bright side, I know my chances of drowning are super slim.

Rain: Day 7

To be clear, it’s not a constant rain. No, it’s much more elusive than that. It’s a sporadic drizzle. It appears in brief fickle moments that require you to have an umbrella at all times. My new approach is to treat the umbrella like a fashion accessory. Like shoes, I should have many to coordinate with various outfits and moods. Yes, boys who read this, this is the inner workings of the female mind.

I purchased this cheerful printed stick umbrella today:

umbrella.jpg

RyanAir – Evil Temptress

Just when I’ve sworn off their wretched airline, they announce 1 million free seats – including taxes! Damn you Ryanair… stop luring me back in! Since we’re now in Day 7 of rain I can’t help but browse. Of course, it’s not all rose petals and kitten tails. This special only applies for flights on Mondays – Thursdays, successfully screwing out any long weekend plans on the continent. But when it’s free, how can I not try to snag at least ONE flight?!

Rain: Day 4 or is it 5?

Maybe it’s day 6. I’ve lost track.
This evening it starting to wear on me. But that’s because I arrived home with wet feet and wet trouser cuffs. And yet I see people walking without umbrellas! Londoners must have a built up tolerance. They also seem to think it’s ok to go out in this weather in unusual shoe choices. Today I spotted suede loafer, open toe sandals and loads of the converse runners (yes, they’re back in fashion apparently). It seems only the likes of Kate Moss will wear Wellies.
I think I’ll feel better about this rain if I expand my fashion choices with some coordinating umbrellas. Five days of my trusty black one is getting me down.

Rainy Sunday

Another rainy day in London. And so far, it hasn’t got me down. I went to the Kitchen & Pantry in Nottinghill today. A cute cafe with awesome comfy couches that comes recommended from a friend of a friend. There are the odd smattering of couples who are actually there to talk to each other, but on a whole this place is a place to come drink coffee, sit and read or look intellectual with your laptop. Oh and the unwritten rule is Macs only.

After deciding that I’ve had enough of the couple making out in the couch across from me (note, everyone else in our area just raises their newspapers a little higher – or a script if you’re the guy beside me – to block the Sunday indecency) I trudged on in the rain to another cafe. There I ordered a soy cappuccino and a pretzel (odd thing to have in a cafe, but they looked tasty). I ended up with a regular cappuccino with an almond croissant. It never seizes to amaze me that in London it’s possible for two people who both speak English as their first language to misunderstand each other that much.

In other news, my London Look must be solidifying because I got asked for directions on two separate occasions today, bringing my weekend total to 6! And the scary thing is I was almost correct with the directions. I would always realize a few minutes later my slight errors, feel a bit bad but then think: meh! Don’t be asking a foreigner!

Backpacker Season Has Begun

I guess it’s the right time of year. We saw our first batch of backpackers today at Paddington Station. Giant clean backpacks (rucksacks as the Brits call them) obviously new. So full of stuff they don’t need (such newbies). And they even had big maple leaf patches sewn on. Of course that made me assume that they must be Americans, but on closer inspection they were carrying MEC packs! (sniff) Real Canadians. I Got a bit nostalgic seeing them staring at the Tube map in confusion. It will be 5 years in June since I did my cliche backpack around Europe trip.

Ryanair

I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect a certain level of suckiness when you voluntarily fly a budget airline. I understand that I’m not issued a seat number, that instead it’s a first come first serve frenzy of a free for all scramble onto the plane to get those precious exit row seats. That’s fine, with that kind of motivation to get on the plane we actually take off on time. I also understand that they won’t feed me, provide me with a seat pocket in the chair in front of me and choose to outfit their planes in the cheapest (and ugliest) fixturings imaginable. I also acknowledge that when they say they fly to Rome, Glasgow or Venice, what they really mean is the tiny shit airport a solid 55km away from the real airport that real airlines fly into. It’s like saying I’ll fly you to Toronto, but what I really mean is Hamilton. It’s a bit of a lie but I’m used to it.

But then there are some things that RyanAir does that are just plain stupid. For 2 extra pounds you can pay to upgrade yourself to a priority check in. This means that they’ll give you a yellow card and board your impatient self first. Sounds like a good deal, no? And for only a measly 2 quid! So you do it, patting yourself on the back for being so clever. Ya, you and about 80% of your fellow passengers! We flew to Spain on Ryanair and pretty much everyone had that special yellow card. So when they announce the priority boarding everyone swarms to the front in giant glob, each person thinking they should be boarded first. It’s pure chaos. People, what happened to the land of queuing?! I’ve seen better crowd organization a passport embassy of a former Eastern-bloc country. And that’s what really pisses me off about this airline. Not only does Ryanair not bother to complete the logistics in this £2 sham, the staff don’t even pretend to try to control the mayhem. They just don’t care. Instead, they let the mob do it’s globular thing and just check in who ever happens to be standing in front of them, yellow card or not. Of course as the mob gets bigger there is always one self important jackass who struts around the blob to the front of the crowd waving their yellow card.
Lady! You and everyone else!

(For the record, no, we did not pay to have the priority boarding. It’s only a 2 hour flight, I think we’ll survive if we nap in seats that aren’t next to each other)

And then when you actually get onto the plane, you get the joy of them trying to sell you crap the entire way. Food, drinks, perfumes, lottery scratch cards. I’m serious, scratch cards. How bored are you?! And each round of sales involves a long winded announcement over the intercom, in multiple languages if you’re lucky.

Flying Ryanair very quickly goes from tolerable to a test of your patience. From start to finish there is nothing pleasant about flying them. And it makes you wonder just how stingy are you to put up with this crap?

I got off that flight from Spain vowing to never fly them again.

Today they announced their latest tactic in the war on airfares. A whole new offering of £10 flights (including taxes!).
How stingy am I?
As I scroll through their list of available flights the answers it seems to be clear. Apparently, very.

Spain!

So our first real bank holiday. Easter doesn’t count, that’s a Jesus day.
We managed to successfully avoid the rain that London had by flying down to Almeria Spain (more on RyanAir later). After a mad dash to Stansted airport (including a mental note to leave more time for tubing it to the train station) we arrived in Almeria just in time for dusk. We took a quick cab over to the coastal town of San Jose. This part of Spain seems obsessed with Italian restaurants but we were pleased to find that even the Italian joints have their Sangria done right.
We awoke to this view from our hotel terrace:
dsc_3547.jpg

We spent most of Saturday playing with our new GPS unit as well as hiking over to Las Negras, about 21km away (and praising our addiction to gadgets since as it turned out the Lonely P’s route description turned out to be junk):

dsc_3626.jpg

Views were excellent, the weather (aside from one random brief stint of rain) was perfect as well.

About 5 and a half hours later we pretty much collapsed in Las Negras, I think our office worker legs are out of practice! The great thing with getting out of the UK is that everything seems cheap. Beers for 2 Euro? A steal! And free Tapas!?? I love this country!
Las Negras itself took a while to grow on us. At first I found it rather dull, even though it’s quite scenic:

dsc_3633.jpg

I suppose I have to keep in mind that this is not the high season, so I really shouldn’t expect a raging Ibizia nightlife. But seeing some of the tacky bits of the Coba Del Sol touristy area west of Almeria a few days later (we were East) gave excellent perspective on how this is the ‘real’ Spain (real but with Italian restaurants… and yet no Cappacinos?! These people need to stop telling me they can’t make cappuccinos when I see them using the frother feature on their giant state of the art coffee/espresso/cappuccino machine to warm up milk. What? you don’t know how to make foam?! I need to learn the Spanish for that!).

On Sunday we hiked our sore limbs over to San Pedro beach a little over an hour away. This ‘town’ is a bunch of ruins being squatted on by hyppies. There are some tents, some solar panels, a bunch of people with long beards and most of them naked. Nice location though:
dsc_3668.jpg

The bus back to Almeria for whatever silly reason runs only once a day. Every day at 7:30am!! So on Monday we arrived back in Almeria at 8:30am, and with plenty of time to kill, rented a car (learned to drive standard too!) and spent the day exploring nearby towns and the touristy coast west of Almeria.
Arriving back in London at 11pm that night we got to see first hand the bank holiday crowds, many tanned like us. And many looked as pleased with their holiday plans as we were.
Now if only RyanAir didn’t suck.
But more on that tomorrow.

Tea Culture

I noticed it immediately. On my first day of work actually.
It must be some stereotypical politeness that is ingrained in their culture combined with some desire to not waste energy on something that would only be for themselves. But ANY time ANYONE feels like a cup of tea or coffee (this is London, it’s obviously tea. The coffee is for the sole Italian who works here) they stand up and pose the question to the office: “hot drinks?”

Inevitably most of the office in turn lets out an enthusiastic squeal of .. ‘oh yes… indeed, that would be lovely!” The person than collects everyone’s mugs, plugs in the kettle and proceeds to fix everyone drinks. It all seems so civilized and considerate. And it is. And it happens about every 35 minutes, like clockwork. I knew I was moving to the island of tea, but I didn’t expect this sort of ritualistic addiction.

What’s also interesting is the mad stash of cookies …err.. biscuits as the Brits call them, in our communal kitchen. Seriously, there are about a dozen different kinds, plus snack sized kit kats in our fridge that seem to get restocked nightly. And whenever one girl in my office does the hot drink round, she does a “biscuits?” round while she waits for the kettle to boil. Now since I’m new, I don’t want to be rude so I say yes to everything, but as a result I’ve eaten more junk this past month than I have all year!

On the bright side, I think the obsession with biscuits explains the teeth.

Just another day on Oxford Street

Poor Oxford Street. It get’s such abuse! A few weeks ago I mentioned the stampede at the opening at Primark. Last week there was a big fire above the NEXT store which crippled traffic in that part of Lonodn for hours (I look for the good YouTube video later). And now today chaos again as Top Shop launches it’s Kate Moss line.

No I didn’t go down there myself, I know better than to fight throngs of trashy (and chavy) British tweens. No, this photo is from the news, and it will do. But I do wish I worked a bit closer like my friend Adrienne who works just around the corner. It would have been very amusing to see the madness.

top-shop.jpg

English Lesson of the Day: Bap

It’s lunch time, the weather is of course gorgeous (i’m beginning to believe that London is the modern day Eden, and not just because I ate lunch in a lovely garden). I’m in a little sandwich shop cafe near work because sandwiches seem to be the lunch time meal and the guy behind me orders curry chicken on a bap.

Bap: a large soft roll, say 5-6 inches in diameter. Looks like an obese dinner roll.

London, the new Polandia

I swear, I hear more Polish here in London in one day than I heard all Easter weekend in Warsaw! I’m not even counting my Polish co-worker, or our Polish office who I speak with often .. no I’m talking about hearing Polish on the tube, on the street in the shops, seeing people read Polish magazines and newspapers. But today was a new one. Today in Primark I heard the store manager talking to one of her sales associate in Polish!

600,000+ Polish immigrants indeed.

Perhaps there is still hope for housing prices

Saw this today: Irish house prices stage first fall since 2002

First time in 5 years!
Of course let me just add this detail from the article:
pushing the annual rate of house price inflation down to 7.4% from 9.5% in February, when prices were unchanged on the month.

7.4% is still nuts.
I can only hope that a little bit of that price correction trend finds it’s way into London.

London’s Insane Housing Market

I think I’ve been here long enough now to comment on the housing market here. I think I can sum it up with: it’s bloody crackers. (british speak for absolutely insane).
Looking at prices you have to ask, how on earth do people afford to own in this city? Take this nice modern 2 bedroom flat similar to a modern condo in Toronto. It’s listed at £545,000 in my Kings Cross area! Ok, that was a super high end looking property, I’ll give you that, but even something more modest like this one bedroom is listed at £338,000! £338,000! At today’s exchange rates that’s $754,182.19 Canadian! And it’s not like I’m shopping around Notting Hill, or South Kensington (though you know I wish we were). No,this is King’s Cross, London’s version of Toronto’s Parkdale – if Parkdale was once known as Toronto’s red light district / drug capital, and was now undergoing a massive gentrification that included a Eurostar link to Paris (details, details).
But the key phrase there was ‘red light district’. I admit, this area is actually getting pretty cool and I see more drunk people at the park near my work at lunch time than at Kings Cross… but come on! THREE quarters of a million Canadian dollars to own a lonely little one bedroom flat in a mediocre area?! A flat that’s posted as less than 500 square feet I might add!!

So I decided to infiltrate the madness by posing as a potential buyer, and met with a mortgage broker yesterday. Well, it seems buying is a lot easier than in Canada. Down payment requirements are MUCH lower, in that there really aren’t any, it just impacts the interest rate you’ll get. But not even by that much. You put down 15% you’ll pay a rate of about 5.2%. Put down 10%, you’ll pay a rate of about 5%. Interesting. So apparently you don’t need much money to put as a down payment. Good to know, since stamp duty (land transfer tax in Canadian speak) is 3%!! (4% if your property is more than 500K!). So that gem of a flat we just saw would require the purchaser to pony up £10,140 on tax alone! Ouch. I also learned that most people in London have interest only mortgages, and choose to make principal payments intermittently through out the year; like say when their banker bonus comes in.

I left my meeting with the mortgage broker with such mixed feelings. At first I was thrilled to find out that immigrants like us with pretty much no credit history and only a week old credit card can get pre-approved for a mortgage pretty much on the spot. But then the rationale kicks in. How hot, and insane is the market?!. And I’m still absolutely gobsmacked to know that when I shop at Tescos for my groceries I’m shopping amongst people who mostly all live in million (Canadian) dollar homes. But I think you just a hit a point when you get used to the prices and these things seem normal.

And no, moving out to Slough is not the answer. There’s a reason I didn’t live in the ‘shwa in Canada, and that reason applies for England too.

Mobile ‘Museum’ of Extinct Technology

I saw an article in The London Paper about an exhibit on display in London at Liverpool Station’s Exchange Square. This is what it said:

” As of today, a new exhibition will celebrate technologies past, with a tongue-in-cheek look at everything, from maps to the mobile phones of old. Crammed into five, 2.5 metre glass pods, the Mobile Museum of Extinct Technology features 3D illustrations of real-life situations … passers-by can pick up a telephone attachment to each exhibit and listen to a comedy voice over explaining what they see.”

Sounded interesting enough. And when we arrived it LOOKED interesting:

museum.jpg

But then you press the button and listen. At first it seems quite funny, referring to us as ‘tribes’. But then the blurb ends with something about this technology seen in front of us will likely go extinct at the end of April when Nokia launches the new something or other product. Wtf?! Are you serious?! Hmm. Next pod, same thing. Bloody hell! We’ve been had. This isn’t a ‘museum’! This is a giant 3D advertisement for Nokia’s new product! How dare you pretend to be art! How dare you even use the word museum!! You lured us here under false pretenses. And the technology you’re claiming is extinct isn’t even extinct! PC’s, mobile phones, CD’s, maps? This insults me on so many levels. I was thoroughly disgusted.
I think tomorrow I will channel some of my commuting rage into a nice piece of hate mail to The London Paper for reporting this as an ‘exhibition’.

English Lesson of the Day

Pull: used to describe the successful act of attracting a person to such an extent that you would be able to snog or perhaps bone or even shag them if you so desired.
Going on a Pull: To attempt to attract a member of the opposite sex. Cruising, out on the prowl.

“I’m going out on the pull tonight.”
“I’d sooner stay in with my embroidery than go out on the pull with just one single friend”

First discovered by me today in TheLondonPaper (freebie newspaper)

Sunday, Hangover Sunday

It turned out to be a pretty busy weekend. Saturday morning hat shopping with 2 friends was a lot of fun. I really should have been born in another time, because I think I look awesome in hats. I did learn though, that hat shopping is a lot more complex than I thought. There are hats, facinators and petite creations. I liked the petite creations best on me (although the facinators really suit my friend Kaila) . What do we think of this one:

hat.jpg

ps. did you notice the crazy hats in the background? They’re insane, and yet I love them all!

I’d gush some more about the weather but I worry that I might lose my loyal reader(s), so I won’t – hi Jim! But I will say that us ladies who shopped for hats equally enjoyed coffees by the river in Putney, and it was glorious.

Saturday evening started off with going to meet one of Jason’s coworkers for a quick pint or two with intentions to go out clubbing later, but instead morphed into something must messier. we did go to a pub, but then after it closed we went to a tiny Cuban place that had some deadly (and delicious) mojitos:
mojito.jpg

Almost as delicious as the Mojitos at Cafe Havana in Manhattan. Eventually we did leave, and I recall taking a night bus. Actually we weren’t very efficient, we took a series of 3 buses to get home.
This morning with a slight dull headache I decided we should try to cure ourselves with an injection of culture at the Chelsea Art Fair. Upon arrival, seeing a entrance fee of £6 each proved that our cheapness greatly out weighed any desire to enrich our lives with the local Sloane Square art scene. Or maybe it was more so our desire for a nap.
Over at St. James part, the London marathon was out in full force (crazy freaks!), but so were the picnickers and other seemingly lazy people. 36,000 people are spending their Sunday running the streets of central London, and we’re in a state of near REM under the shade of a tree.
Photos of two very different Sunday afternoons:
marathon2.jpg stjamespark3.jpg

For what it’s worth we did go over and look at the runners, but got bored rather quickly. Marathons are so predictable, it’s usually a Kenyan who wins anyway

Pet #3 (.1)

roomba.jpg

Roomba’s back! We’re so excited that our new Roomba arrived. Pictured above the new improved Roomba finds it’s own base when low on battery.

A quick rant though.
When we first arrived we wanted to buy a Roomba here in the UK, but were dissapointed to find that they sell for a heafty £170s. Then when we were in Canada 4 weeks ago we checked a few stores with the intention of buying it there, but found that in London Ontario, only the high end ones were being sold, and they were selling for about $400 Canadian. That seemed obscene. Well, after much research we found that we could buy the brand new Roomba for pets online in the states, have it shipped to Jason’s company’s California office, then have
that California office ship it to us here in the UK, and pay duty and yet still end the end pay WAY less than the UK price or the Canadian price. How does that make sense?!

Anyway, we’ve run it every day for one week now and throughly done the carpeted bedrooms and this is the disgusting result:

cathair.JPG

It looks like a dead animal. Or worse an old man’s toupee.
Either way, I’m glad it’s not in our carpets anymore (I hate carpets). Welcome back Roomba, we missed you.

Curses to you, Victoria Line

Old faithful, the trusty Victoria Line failed me again this morning. I arrived at Kings Cross to find the platform heavily backed up and an announcer encouraging people to move down and ‘use all available space on the platform’.

1st train arrives, I don’t even try to get on, I figure the crowd will pass soon, and the next train is about 1 minute away, no sense in getting pushy.
2nd train arrives. Surprising to me it’s just as rammed as the one before.
3rd train comes and goes and I realize if I want to get to work anytime soon I will need to get aggressive. I also realize that the heat inside one of those trains must be unbearable with all those people, so i remove my overcoat.
4th train comes. I almost make it on, but some fat lady successfully deters me with her fowl b.o stench. Well played.
The 5th tube arrives. Success! I manage to shove myself in. I ride the next 3 stops with my left arm pressed against some woman’s flabby chest (although it provided excellent impact absorption on the hard stops) and my right rib being jabbed by someone’s blackberry. I could actually feel his thumb scrolling along my ribs. eww.

Trip in this morning took just over 40 minutes. That’s quite a while for 5 stops!
And yet again, wish I had my camera. This morning would have made for some funny pictures!

The Royal Chopper

I’ll start by saying I don’t know if my co-workers are trying to pull a fast one on me… but apparently we saw the Queen was flying around in her helicopter today. Even as I repeat it, it sounds silly. But since I work within blocks of Buckingham Palace, it seems conceivable, and these very same co-workers did point out through the window Buckingham Palace, which is is plain view (and so his her majesty’s bedroom!). I suppose it’s plausible, but I can’t help but feel they’re trying to fool the dumb Canuck. God I’m such a sceptic!

Ok! Maybe it was the royal chopper! This is the helicopter I saw:

mtnew_ceremsym_transport_airiii.jpg

Does this count as a Royal sighting? I’m going to say yes.

Picnic with the Royals

I’ve noticed that picnicking is much more prevalent here. Maybe that’s because in Canada I worked in the downtown core where green space is limited to really only the TD Towers court yard. Or maybe it’s because there are a heck of a lot more people in this city that due to pure volume, it seems like more. Whatever the case is, people have no problems plopping down on the grass in a business suit munching on some M&S or Pret a manager sandwich pre-made delight.
At lunchtime today the park closest to my office, Grosvenor Gardens, was packed with people sprawled out on the grass enjoying their lunches. I grabbed a patch of grass and lazed in the sun with my sandwich and free London Lite paper reading up about the big Royal split. This is such big news here. Poor Wills and Kate. Like another famous Kate, Kate Middleton over the past few years became a bit of a style icon. Apparently she wore a dress from Top Shop once, and within hours it was sold out.

Well, since I don’t particularly care about the Royals. the gossip and all that nonsense, perhaps I can use her to help me choose a hat for the Royal Ascot that we’re going to in June (the big horse racing event of the year in which hat wearing is mandatory!)

So. Should i go with option A, a traditional saucer like chapeau that is just ooh so British?
kate-in-hat.jpg

Or… Option B, a miniature nouveux styled chapeau perched delicately on the side of my head reminiscent of a party hat you’d wear to a 5 year olds birthday party a Chucky Cheeses, but yet somehow looks Parisian chic?
kateinahat1.jpg