The Royal Chopper

I’ll start by saying I don’t know if my co-workers are trying to pull a fast one on me… but apparently we saw the Queen was flying around in her helicopter today. Even as I repeat it, it sounds silly. But since I work within blocks of Buckingham Palace, it seems conceivable, and these very same co-workers did point out through the window Buckingham Palace, which is is plain view (and so his her majesty’s bedroom!). I suppose it’s plausible, but I can’t help but feel they’re trying to fool the dumb Canuck. God I’m such a sceptic!

Ok! Maybe it was the royal chopper! This is the helicopter I saw:

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Does this count as a Royal sighting? I’m going to say yes.

Never buy a Microsoft phone

I know this should be obvious, and I should have known better, but (suprise!) my Microsoft-powered “smart” phone that work bought me is a piece of trash. I’ve had this thing since November and it’s been nothing but trouble. The phone needs to be rebooted every day or the phone will stop rining and alarms and notifications will stop going off, making the phone basically useless. And now, whenever I reboot, I get this for about 10 minutes:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmIrlmBmN4E]

NEVER buy a Windows Mobile phone if you can avoid it. I’m just hoping that I can convince my work to get rid of this piece of trash and get me a BlackBerry again. Palm should be ashamed of themselves for going over to Windows.

Picnic with the Royals

I’ve noticed that picnicking is much more prevalent here. Maybe that’s because in Canada I worked in the downtown core where green space is limited to really only the TD Towers court yard. Or maybe it’s because there are a heck of a lot more people in this city that due to pure volume, it seems like more. Whatever the case is, people have no problems plopping down on the grass in a business suit munching on some M&S or Pret a manager sandwich pre-made delight.
At lunchtime today the park closest to my office, Grosvenor Gardens, was packed with people sprawled out on the grass enjoying their lunches. I grabbed a patch of grass and lazed in the sun with my sandwich and free London Lite paper reading up about the big Royal split. This is such big news here. Poor Wills and Kate. Like another famous Kate, Kate Middleton over the past few years became a bit of a style icon. Apparently she wore a dress from Top Shop once, and within hours it was sold out.

Well, since I don’t particularly care about the Royals. the gossip and all that nonsense, perhaps I can use her to help me choose a hat for the Royal Ascot that we’re going to in June (the big horse racing event of the year in which hat wearing is mandatory!)

So. Should i go with option A, a traditional saucer like chapeau that is just ooh so British?
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Or… Option B, a miniature nouveux styled chapeau perched delicately on the side of my head reminiscent of a party hat you’d wear to a 5 year olds birthday party a Chucky Cheeses, but yet somehow looks Parisian chic?
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Leeds Castle

I can’t go on enough about how good the weather is here! ( I guess that just makes me so Canadian to constantly mention the weather) But 25C and blue skies in April!? How can I not?

Today we took a day trip out to Leeds Castle, which is not actually in Leeds but rather in completely the opposite direction of Leeds, in Bearsted. This weekend I’ve learned that the British manage to make something as simple as rail tickets incredibly complicated! We finally smartened up and bought a one year Rail Card today so that we could cash in some major discounts.
Here’s what I don’t get. Why is the round trip price to Bearstead £14.50, but £9.50 if you have this magical Rail Card? The Rail Card only costs £20 to begin with… £20 for both of us. So by getting that card, Jason and I saved £5 each, total of £10 saved. Now if we go on one other rail trip wouldn’t the savings have paid for the card?? Just 2 train trips and the card has paid or itself. But here’s a question?! Why bother with the card in the first place? Why have a card that pays for itself in only TWO TRIPS?!!? Why wouldn’t everyone get it? Isn’t is conceivable that pretty much every person who takes the train once outside of London will likely take the train again sometime that year? Why bother with the fuss, administration and annoyance of a Rail Card? Is this to scam tourists who don’t know about the Rail Card? That’s retarded. Why make it so complicated?!
I’m learning there’s a reason the Brits call everything a “scheme” (i.e pension scheme, pet travel scheme, rail card scheme..)

Sorting out tickets to the actual castle was silly too. You can either buy your train ticket, bus ticket (short bus from train to castle) and castle entrance fee separately… or if you do the research you’ll learn that there is a complicated scheme to buy package prices in London before you leave and another combination if you arrive at the train station and need to take the bus to the castle. I just find it to be such a bother. Don’t have 3 different price possibilities for a 10 minute bus ride from the train station to the castle. Just charge one price and take me to the damn Castle!

At least the castle was nice, and a perfect day to visit it.
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The grounds were huge, and crawling with families. The maze was quite interesting since at one point it lead into an underground grotto. The interior of the castle was a collection of old stuff that I find marginally amusing. But what was truly bizarre was the tiny Museum of Dog Collars:

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So strange.

And of course, in the grand tradition of our weekends, we took a nap on the lawn:

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Isn’t British weather the worst?

For the Love of Cheese – part 2: Morbier

We walked over to Angel today to visit HSBC (a bank that’s open on a Saturday!). I’m happy to report we’ve been granted the privledge of a credit card something Barclays wouldn’t give us. So goodbye Barclays. It’s not us, it’s you.

But I digress.
Today’s cheese, another first for me: Morbier from France

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Apparently the bottom layer below the black layer of ash consists of the morning milk and the upper layer is made of the evening milk.
Supposed Tasting Notes: It’s a buttery, pungent cheese with hints of fruit and nuts. I would add that it tastes a bit leathery.
Not my favourite, but quite delicious.

Come on Homer!

Today is the big race day for the Grand National.grand-national.jpg

I find it incredibly amusing that people care so much about horse races here. To me, I associate horse racing and betting to be a bit seedy, but that’s probably episodes of the Simpsons with Santa’s Little Helper that has scewed my perception. In any case, I can’t understand what the fuss is all about, but people seem to care. Especially the free newspapers in the Tube who like to report on which British famous person I’ve never heard of is attending, and which ridiclous hat is she wearing.

 

Jason entered a betting pool of some sort. So now we sort of care too. Well I care about our 4 horses. So, come on Bothar Na, Philson Run, Homer Wells, and Thisthatandtother!! Homer Wells sounds like a winner, I’ve placed my hopes on him.

And speaking of horse racing, we bought tickets to the Royal Ascot in June today, the horse race of the year. Now I need to buy a hat (I’m not joking).

Finally, a company that recognises my status

(Please note that I spelled “recognises” the British way. I’m learning!)

I’ve always thought that the title “Mr” never really summed up exactly who I am. It always felt a bit common or pedestrian to describe myself that way. Not that I want to be called “Mrs” or “Ms” of course: I’m fairly certain that I am male, but let me check…yep, still male. It’s just that I wanted a title that better defined me as a person. “The Reverend Doctor Jason Slaughter” always appealed to me, but I’m not religious…or a doctor for that matter.

Thankfully British Airways–everybody’s favourite big-business airline–knows that the members of its “Executive Club” frequent flyer program are a special breed. Like me. So when I signed up and selected my “title” from their little pull-down menu I was pleasantly surprised to see not just the bog-standard Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, Dr, Herr, Monsieur, and Frau, but a list truly deserving of the nose-in-the-air crowd.

The military is well recognized by BA. They’ve got Admiral, Lieutient, Sergeant, Corporal, First Officer, and even the dreaded Rear Admiral. They’ve got politicians covered with titles like President, Senator, and Governor but strangly no Prime Minister. Royalty are well taken care of with titles like Her Majesty, His Majesty, Prince, Princess, Her Highness, and His Highness. They’ve got wacky foreign titles like Jonkheer, Khun Ying, Hajim, Puan Sri, Embajadora, Tengku, and everybody’s favourite Tan Sri Dato. The religious are served with titles like Father, Rabbi, Reverend, and Pastor. They even have The Hon Justice, His Holiness, Deacon, Lord, Viscount, Brother, Sultan, Dame, Judge, and Justice.

It was a long search, but I finally found the title that suited me best. Thanks again BA for recognising me for who I am:

Crown Prince Slaughter

What title are you?

Art at Work

Today I remembered to bring my camera, and I managed to sneak a photo of this giant sculpture in my main reception lobby at work. At first I thought it was a woman riding a bull. But then on interview number 3 I noticed ‘she’ had long bunny ears (which unfortunetely you can’t see in this photo). And now when I look at the photo it doesn’t look like a bull anymore, but perhaps a giant ant?

What do you think:

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God Bless the Tube

“Please be advised that the Victoria Line is suspended between Warren Street and Brixton due to a possible fire at Green Park Station”.

That is JUST what I want to hear right before trying to get on a Victoria Line train. No worries, I live at Kings Cross. 6 tube lines run through this station. I’ll just get onto the Piccadilly Line or the Northern Line. So I walk around the corner towards the tunnel to those two lines.

“Attention, please be advised that due to the suspension on the Victoria Line, the Piccadilly Line and Northern Line are experiencing severe volume, passengers are encouraged to take an alternative route”.

Awesome. Just as the announcement finishes I arrive at the entrance tunnel to find them pulling the gate down and closing it! Severe volume indeed! I actually laughed a bit. This would never happen in Toronto. I also cursed that I didn’t have my camera. The tube workers (or maybe they’re police officers?) wear really bright neon yellow vests. In a dingy tube tunnel this amuses me. I also realized today at work that I really should have a camera at all times. We have some crazy art in the office, and since it’s an old building with lots of little corridors I discover something new everyday (yesterday I learned we actually have an original Andy Warhol painting in one of the meeting rooms!).

But I digress. The point of this post is that I had to take the dreaded Circle Line to work and ride half that circle of central London too! It took me about 50 minutes to get to work. Now seems like a good time to mention that Jason’s train commute to Cambridge is only 45 minutes

I did a quick Google News scan to see if I could find a picture to add to this post. Sure enough there is none. Because a delay like this isn’t news. It’s just an average day on the tube.

Primark Madness! – J.Coyle, this post’s for you!

So Primark opened on Oxford Stree last weekend. I had meant to go for the Thursday 10am opening, but completely forgot. I’m not sure if it was as insane the first day, but this is what happened while we were away for Easter!!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFPr5F_p5so]

Isn’t that crazy!!?! I like the cheap and chic-ness of Primark, but it’s not worth causing bodily harm! And Primark already exits in London!

Seriously… is this not insane?! What crazy backwards city do I live in?!

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Easter in Warsaw

I do love that Easter in the UK is a solid 4 day weekend.
We left painfully early on Friday morning, actually 7am probably hurt more because we were out a bit late the night before, which I learned is often called “Bad Thursday” over here. We had been out in Soho.

Anyway, since there are over 600,000 Polish immigrants working in the UK, flights back to Warsaw on a super religious holiday are a bit hard to come by, and we had to end up flying through Frankfurt, a silly layover considering that the flight from London to Warsaw is less than 2 and a half hours.
After weeks of fantastic spring weather we landed in cold cloudy Poland. I know.. I know… there’s snow in Canada, it could have been worse.
The weekend involved 3 planned family dinners, plus a spontaneous lunch at my grandmothers the day we arrived. Since 3 of those 4 meals were at grandmothers you can only imagine the amounts of food we were forced to eat (you just can’t say no to grandma).

But in between the feedings we got to see some of the sights.
The Old Town, which was essentially leveled after WW2 and impeccably rebuilt:

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The classic image of Warsaw, the former Stalin Palace of Culture built during the communist occupation now simply called the ‘Palace of Culture and Science’. It may have been a gift from Russia with love, but generally the Polish seem to hate it:

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These peacocks in the 17th century Łazienki Park don’t seem to mind the cold damp weather:
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But of course, what I really love about Warsaw is the contrasts. Here you can see the convenience of family shopping. Dad visits the sex shop on the left, while mom is picking out her child’s First Communion outfit on the right. All this on Pope John Paul II Avenue!

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The End of Leisure

So that’s it. My unemployment comes to an end. After the long weekend I start working again.
Today when I went to drop off my signed contract, I snapped a few photos of the area around my work:

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And as you can see, plenty of people enjoying the British weather:
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Who ever said British weather sucks, so a liar!! The weather here is awesome (for now). 18C today, 20C tomorrow!
Spring is definitely here, you can see the trees were in bloom when I took this yesterday:

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And here’s another one I took yesterday. The buses got in a bit of a traffic jam in front of Selfridges (on the right):
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Pub Quiz!

Last night we went to our first British pub quiz (well, second for Jason, our first together). It was in Hamel Hamstead about 20 minutes outside of London. Jason’s co-worker runs them every Wednesday. He runs a solid quiz, and even had a round of name that tune (with a connecting theme!). Sadly I will report that there was massive cultural bias! Like I know ANYTHING about Coronation Street, East Enders, Brit Pop, or Football! Oh, but speaking of football, quiz hosts should really steer clear of questions involving football in front of Londers. That one bloody question got soo much protest and discussion!

Anyway, here is a shot of the host on the mic last night:
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We got matched up with two Brits that the host knew and we actually did ok. 8th out of 24 groups! (a lot more groups than my pub quiz!)

Tsx!

Ok, this post is not about London… but it’s not everyday that someone I know opens the TSX. And this morning there you are Dave!
I’m so jealous (…slash happy for you…)

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Also… how often does a hangover specialist leave MTV Canada’s studios and then a few weeks later win a scrabble championship?!

Sunday! Intoxicating Consumption

Another gorgeous day in London!
We enjoyed breakfast at a local fry-up place a few blocks away (scrambled eggs on toast, side of sausage plus a cup of tea for £ 2.90 is pretty good to me!). We took the tube to Lancaster Gate and spent 3 excellent hours in Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park. Even though we had a great afternoon, I wasn’t overly impressed with either park. They’re both nice flat city parks, nothing to write home about (.. but wait.. I am writing … home, sort of …). Maybe when the trees bloom in a few weeks I’ll be more impressed. Or maybe I’m a park snob. Hamstead Heath? Too rustic. Hyde Park? To paved. Kensington Gardens? mediocre flower display. I am a snob!

Sitting by the Serpentine was enjoyable:

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But of course all that lazing around the park makes you thirsty… and hungry. So we met two friends for a traditional Sunday roast. Well actually, I changed my mind at the last minute and ordered fish and chip, but everyone else got the roast:

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Looks healthy, no? Jason said he enjoyed it. I enjoy that they provide you with a roasted potato, and deep fried potatoes. Nice.

My friend Adrienne pointed out this sign as we left the pub:

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Well.. as long as we’re clear that my liquor will only be intoxicating!

2 wires, £81 each

I solved my little BT problem last night. After some short research on the net (particularly this great PDF) I found out that it really was as easy as I thought it would be.

Here was my daunting task: 6 wires. But which should I hook up?!

6 wires

According to my research online, only two are required (technically wire 3 should be hooked up or the phone won’t ring but those little ADSL filters they give you take care of that and the less noisy wires the better for Internet access). 5 minutes with my trusty 110-block punchdown tool later and we’re done (you do have a 110 punchdown tool at home, don’t you?):

110 punch down tool

And the final product:

Wired Up

5 minutes for £162. Not a bad day’s work. I hate you BT.

For the Love of Cheese

I went to Angel this morning to grab a latte and finish my book. I went to the Tinderbox Espresso Emporium which was not as great as I thought it would be.
I did pass through the Angel market on the way home and noticed that as expected, it’s bigger on Saturdays. BUT there are quite a few fine cheese shops on weekends such as this:

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They seem to always to be run by some authentic little French man with a thick accent. Or perhaps they’re run by hustlers with seemingly believable fake French accents. Either way their cheese selection is awesome. I was thrilled last week to find Valencay Chevre from the Loire Valley in Portobello Market. Wait… thrilled probably doesn’t quite cover it. Jubilant is more accurate. This is a cheese I used in a wine and cheese engagement party I hosted a few years ago for a good friend of mine. I visited every major cheese store in Toronto and only found it in ONE store, one of the famed Five Thieves actually, and it was $28! ( I bought it anyway, and it was incredible. Since then I saw it again at the Leslieville Cheese store and at the Rushton on the cheese plater when my friend Kyle was the executive chef)
Here in London that same pyramid was £3! And it seems almost every little cheese shop has at least 5!

Today’s cheese choice?
Langres. A cheese I’ve never seen or had before. I snuck a photo of the display so that I would remember the name:
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Looks a bit weird eh? And it was a stinky cheese. One description online said dense texture and rich, creamy flavor offering distinct notes of sour milk and a long finish. Agreed on all counts. And I would add, I could taste the stink.
Delicious!

Everyday is the weekend

Went up to Cambridge yesterday to meet Jason at the bank and get added to his account (approved!). We learned that Barclays JUST changed their policy yet again about credit cards. Apparently we now need to be living in the UK for 12 months before we can apply. 6 months and 1 day ago they said the amount of time was 6 months. Awesome.
Since one of us needs to bring home the bacon, Jason went back to work and I wandered around the city. Cambridge really is as lovely as everyone says it is. The town is old, beautiful and full of cute shops, restaurants and pubs. Oh, and with the odd old historic building thrown in here and there for dramatic effect.

Of course the obvious question came to mind, why are we living in Loud London and not in Cute Cambridge? It sure would be a lot cheaper to live in CC (probably a ratio of 4:1). But then I think of our plans for tonight. We’re going to see Avenue Q in the evening, perhaps grab some dinner with a few people and then drop in on a house party at a friends (or mates as the brits say..) place who lives v close to Baker Street. Then I imagine on the way home we’ll see a pile of drunkards milling about our neighbourhood before passing out at home to the quite hum of the Piccadilly tube line underneath our bedroom. And then I sigh. And remember, yes. I really do prefer big cities, crime, dirt, vagrants and all.

Anyway, back in CC … I was really annoyed that I forgot my camera, because the weather even cleared up. I did take some quality shots with my mobile phone, but if I could just figure out how to unlock the mysteries of bluetooth, I would share. (tech support is out right now). So it was 4 great hours to myself in Cambridge, truly a lovely Friday afternoon. I’ve started to read Letter to a Christian Nation. So far I recommend it, although I would love to read a good argument from the Christian Right. I met up with Jason’s co-workers at their local and of course, the conversation had to turn to the way us Crazy Canuks pronounce things. So far on the list of wrongs: Coffee, and Tuesday

Some new Brit speak:

Zip = zipper
Anorak = rain jacket, but also slang for nerd (?!)
Wallet (ladies) = purse
Purse = handbag (i’ve noticed the americans use handbag a lot too)

Oh! And in other good news, my contract for work arrived this morning. Yes, oddly enough we get mail on Saturdays.

My Daffodils have exploded

I bought these on Wednesday, thinking they were a small bouquet. This morning I see that my daffodils have exploded into full bloom:
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I’m off to Cambridge today to meet up with Jason and get a bank account (finally).
Also, noticed that the comments section now works! Ya! Thanks Dan!

Ladies who lunch

Today was another great day of leisure.
I met my friend Adrienne at Sloan Square and were we window shopped before meeting up with 2of her friends who work in the area for lunch in Chelsea.
We ate at a cute little noddle house directly across the street from the Bluebird Cafe, which I learned is quite the popular posh place to eat.
My photo doesn’t do it justice:
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I liked the shops, and more so I liked the Chelsea neighbourhood.

Later we hoped on a bus to Hammersmith to pop into a Uk staple: Primark. If you can imagine, it’s seriously cheaper than H&M, and yet the quality doesn’t seem to dodgy. I bought (amongst other things) 5 pairs of black socks for £2! Considering I can’t even by Thai green eggplants for that price, i’m thrilled. The true test of course, will come when I run them through the wash on the weekend.

On the way home I stopped by Leicester Square to pick up tickets to Avenue Q on Saturday (I’m very excited to see this!) and saw this on the way home:
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Not sure what “Free House” means just yet, but nice to see a pub quiz in our neighbourhood!

BT, Bloody Theives

As if it wasn’t bad enough that they force you to get an £11/month home phone line with a £106 “set-up fee” to get DSL Internet (something not required in Canada). Now I find out that when BT hooks up your phone, they only hook up one phone jack. To get your phone line in any other room you need to pay for an “extension socket” for the low, low price of only £162.16 including installation. £162! Just so that we can get our ugly Internet router out of our livingroom and into our second bedroom!

I just couldn’t bring myself to do this because I know it’s just hooking up a few wires (I just don’t know where those wires are in my house). The sockets are already in the house, they’re just not live. A blindfolded retarded monkey could hook up a phone line:

Phone line twisted pairs

Does anybody know where the phone line hookup is normally found in a UK flat? I’m sure people regularly do this themselves. Certainly people don’t actually pay £168 to attach a few wires, right? Right?

Theiving Bastards

I do have to give them credit though – BT find some very innovative ways to screw people that I’ve never seen anywhere else.

T-minus 12 days

So I accepted a job offer today!
My start date is Tuesday April 10th, the day after Easter. That means my life as a lady of leisure ends in 12 days.
Speaking of which, I met my fellow lady of leisure, Kaila for lunch today in Angel.
This is an amusing busker on Upper Street in the heart of Angel:
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He totally earned my quid.
We also stopped for a refreshing pear cider at the Bull, an Angel drinking favourite.
The Bull:

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I swear the place was really busy like 10 minutes earlier, I just happened to catch it looking completely dead, and us looking like lushes.

Later I ventured into Chinatown to pickup some more cooking supplies. London’s Chinatown SUCKS. What’s with all the white people?! And why are the cashiers speaking English to me? AND she actually gave me a receipt?! But how on earth will the poor white girl get ripped off?! I miss Toronto’s Chinatown where I would happily shop being one of the only white people and only be able to know what I am buying by smelling it (learned that when I accidentally bought mint and not Thai basil once). No, this China town is too touristy. It’s full of overpriced restaurants. Where are all the food markets?! I counted only 4, and not a single one was selling dried shrimp flakes outside their shop! And the prices are obscene too. £2.99 for small package of thai green eggplants?! £ 2.69 for a bunch of bok choy?! To me, Chinatown is synonymous with dirt cheap produce at occasionally questionable quality.
I think I’ll need to consult google to find out where in this town I can buy good cheap Chinese produce.

Tomorrow my life of leisure continues with a shopping trip into Sloan Square.

Bicarbonate Of Soda

Went to Tescos today to pick up a few things needed for making some banana bread.
I noticed that the only vanilla extra I could find was called “Vanilla Flavouring” and came in the smallest bottle imaginable. So the hunt is on for a large size bottle of vanilla, Because seriously, 2 batches of pancakes and a loaf of banana bread later, and and that Visine sized bottle of ‘flavour’ will be dry.
Baking soda was a bit harder to find. I had to scan the baking aisle twice before I found Bicarbonate of Soda.

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I guess I shouldn’t be completely surprised, last week I discovered that sour cream = soured cream, but I figured I would need translations into British-ims for more obvious things like transportation (lift not elevator, alight not exit, carriage not subway car) and day to day expressions (lost his plot, no I’m having kittens, does what it says on the tin). I didn’t expect Brit speak to spill into the world of baking ingredients.